[Photo courtesy of Seth Adam Smith]

On Sunday, the Huffington Post published Seth Adam Smith’s Marriage Isn’t For You. Since then, there has been a big reaction to the 700–word piece. There’s already an abundance of Facebook shares, tens of thousands of Facebook Likes and hundreds of comments. If you haven’t yet read the article, click here, and spare two seconds to read it.

When I first read the title of this piece I was offended. I was angry based on my judgment that this article was a millennium minded piece steering young people away from the institution of marriage. I mean, that’s what it sounds like doesn’t it? I wanted to aggressively tell the author that some people may not be cut out for marriage but mine would be successful and happy. Then I read the article and realized that Smith’s message is exactly the opposite of what it seems to be. (Clever, eh?)

Smith’s beautiful article actually tells us that marriage is about being selfless in love and not putting yourself first by constantly making your relationship about yourself. In this piece, Smith realizes that to be happy and healthily in love, it can’t be all about him. Therefore, marriage isn’t about you, it’s about the person you love.

I agree that marriage—or any meaningful relationship—can’t be all about you. If that were the case, I bet many of those relationships wouldn’t work out.  When you love someone or care about them as a friend, you want to be selfless and make them happy. Often times, we get selfish, and that’s okay because we just need to remind ourselves that everything isn’t about us and things will work out. If you’re reading this and you feel like you have been selfish in a relationship lately, simply ask for forgiveness and give promises of a better effort to be more selfless. I bet those words will go a long way.

A great concept that Smith touches on is the “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one. I think that’s a great concept to think about in regard to marriage and divorce these days. How hard do people really try before they separate? How selfless or selfish were they? Did they really consider the depth and length of their marriage? I would like to think that anyone you once wanted to marry could read Smith’s piece and find it in their heart to try again—but maybe that’s because I haven’t been married. What do you think? Have you been married or divorced or married more than once? How does this article relate to your life and make you feel?

 

Lauren Chan is the Editor of the Bridal Guide.