Although we are told time and time again that our wedding day will be the happiest day of our lives, there are some brides and grooms who will always feel like something was missing from this special day. Celebrating love and marriage can bring on feelings of sadness when a bride or groom has lost a loved one before they say “I do.” It is difficult to carry on the planning with gusto and enthusiasm when there’s a nagging feeling of loss associated with the big day. Many couples find some solace in finding a special way to honour lost loved ones at their wedding ceremony or reception.

Choosing a special flower to be arranged in the bride or bridesmaids’ bouquets is a sweet and subtle way to honour the life of an important and loved female such as a grandmother, aunt, cousin or sister. A particular species of flower, a flower or ribbon in a significant colour are simple gestures that allows for the spirit and memory of the individual to still be very present on the wedding day.

[Photograph courtesy of blog.karentran.com.]

The loss of one or both parents before a person marries is incredibly tragic for any bride or groom. Parents are such an integral part of the lives of their children that it’s difficult to imagine a way to fully honour or appreciate them at their children’s weddings. And there may not be. However, including them in some way, no matter how small, should be considered by couples. Dancing to your own parents’ wedding song or displaying a few small photos of them here and there will keep them in the hearts and minds of the guests. Finding a beautiful poem which honours parents and asking someone special to read it is another idea or the poem can be copied on placed on each dinner table.

Interviewed shortly after her wedding, actress Shannen Doherty discussed the heart-wrenching loss of her father before she was married. She explained that the two were very close and it was painful to know he wouldn’t be with her on her wedding day. Her wedding was held outdoors on a summer day and there were dragonflies everywhere. She thought it was unusual until she learned that some Native Americans tribes believe that dragonflies are the spirits of lost loved ones. It gave her the sense that her father was there the whole time and can do the same for all brides and grooms by including dragonflies in the favors or on place cards.

[Photograph courtesy of etsy.com.]